


The Bakery of Doom!

by ruff_ethereal



Category: Big Hero 6, Disgaea (Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Angel!GoGo, Death Threats, Demon!Honey, F/F, Mild Language, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-24
Updated: 2015-03-26
Packaged: 2018-03-19 11:34:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3608562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruff_ethereal/pseuds/ruff_ethereal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The sign outside read “The Bakery of Doom!”, white script on pink background in flowery, loopy cursive. “Doom!” had playful horns on the “D,” and the tail of the “m” looked like a demon's, complete with a spade on the tip.</p><p>The point of the exclamation mark looked like a screaming face.</p><p>GoGo had expected a tongue-in-cheek gimmick inside: fake demon costumes and accessories on the staff, playfully spooky and cheerful decorations, and equally whimsical names for the products, like “Bloody Good Brownies” or something.</p><p>She was right about everything but the first.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MareisuinShihaku](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MareisuinShihaku/gifts).



> SO overdue, Sentretlegion, I am so sorry, please enjoy.

The sign outside read “The Bakery of Doom!”, white script on pink background in flowery, loopy cursive. “Doom” had playful horns on the “D,” and the tail of the “m” looked like a demon's, complete with a spade on the tip.

The point of the exclamation mark looked like a screaming face.

GoGo had expected a tongue-in-cheek gimmick inside: fake demon costumes and accessories on the staff, playfully spooky and cheerful decorations, and equally whimsical names for the products, like “Bloody Good Brownies” or something.

She was right about everything but the first.

“Dood! Where's number 77's order?!”

“I'm working on it, dood! We're pretty busy today!”

“Well hurry it up, dood!”

“What do you think I'm doing, dood?!”

The angel watched, dumbfounded, as Prinnies—actual Prinnies, not humans in costumes—ran around the shop in aprons and kerchiefs, carting around trays and boxes full of brownies and other baked goods. The humans in line—it stretched out the door and looped back on itself as soon as it reached the end of the street—were completely, absolutely unfazed, as if the whole thing was normal for them.

“Hi! Welcome to the Bakery of Doom! How can I help you?” A feminine voice said.

GoGo turned away from scrambling Prinnies and to the demon behind the counter.

She was tall, lithe, and agile, her long limbs and dainty fingers swiftly grabbing and manipulating the battery of coffee machines, ovens, and product displays around her; her massive pink wings letting her smoothly and quietly glide over the floor; and her long pink tail grabbing jars of ingredients, baked goods, or utensils, and handing them over to customers, Prinnies, or her own hands once they were free.

She was also very, very, _very_ pretty. Luxurious golden hair; vibrant red eyes shining with warmth and happiness, hidden behind massive pink glasses with devil horns on the rims; and a smile that was brighter and more genuine than GoGo'd ever seen on anyone. And all of that in a canary yellow dress that was this close to hugging her figure, and a frilly pink apron shaped like a cat's face.

The demon hovered past a cut out section of the counter, letting GoGo see her her long, long legs, wrapped in lacy white stockings, ending in yellow platform heels.

GoGo blushed and stared, her eyes hurriedly darting back up to demon's face, stopping only to read her nametag: “Honey Lemon.”

“I, uh...”

Honey Lemon smiled. “If you want to buy some of my famous treats, I'm afraid you're going to have to fall in line just like everybody else. Being an angel doesn't get you any special privileges—though you certainly get my attention.” She winked.

GoGo's wings unfurled and started flapping. She blushed even harder, stammered an excuse, and made for the door before she ended up levitating over the floor.

Outside, Fred raised his arm, waved at her, and gave her a thumbs up while he waited in the line. GoGo let slide the blatant ignorance of his orders--”Don't let anyone know we're working together.”--and made her way out of the busy street.

It was time to start the second part of their investigation.

* * *

“Oh, Honey Lemon?” Said a man. “Yeah, she's _super_ nice, and a fantastic baker, to boot. Did you know she bakes everyone birthday cakes, free of charge? Always to the birthday boy or girl's tastes, never fail. The kids keep trying to trick her and get more than one cake a year, but she's got a fantastic memory, that she does.”

“Oh, yeah, the owner of the 'Bakery of Doom!'?” A rival baker said. “Thought it was just a gimmick at first, but it turns out she's a pretty damn good baker. Would have ran me and the other guys out of business if she didn't share some of her recipes with us, helped us all specialize so we don't step on each others' toes. If I were her I would have monopolized this whole damn city, but eh.”

“Ms. Honey's the bestest and when I grow up I want to become a demon just like her!” A young child said, their peers letting out an enthusiastic chorus of agreement.

GoGo sighed and swiped to the next recorded interview on her magic mirror, but didn't tap the glass to play it. She looked up from the dining room table to the kitchen. “Any luck with the test samples?”

“One moment!” Wasabi said as he put a cupcake on a pedestal and watched it dissolve. He frowned as soon as the terminal on the kitchen table returned another negative result. The rest of the occultist equipment covering almost every inch of the room returned similar, disappointing results.

“Still nothing! I've tested almost every product thrice over, but none of these samples are turning up even a lick of demonic tampering or suspicious ingredients!” He paused. “I think these are just normal baked goods!”

“They're also delicious!” Fred said from the living room, lounging on the couch with one of his journals in his lap. He wrote a detailed account of their investigation with one hand, while the other grabbed another brownie from the boxes on the coffee table. Dozens of empty containers and bags littered it and the floor around him.

GoGo sighed. “Fred, stop eating those, they could be poisoned or cursed.”

“ _Or_ you two could just be seriously missing out! Look, we've been looking into this 'Bakery of Doom!' and Honey Lemon all day; everything we've found so far hasn't lead to anything incriminating or even suspicious. Why don't you two try out some of these goodies for yourself, see if your gut feelings and taste buds can answer for what all your fancy equipment and investigating can't?

“I mean, GoGo is an angel, and Wasabi's like, an expert in demonology. You two could probably literally taste Evil, yeah?”

Wasabi groaned. “It's called occultism, Fred. I'm an occultist. And I have to admit, you've got a point. GoGo?”

GoGo looked at Fred, and back at her magic mirror. Dozens more interviews, all probably no different than the previous ones. She sighed, got up from her chair, and joined Fred on the couch. Wasabi followed suit.

“Alright!” Fred reached under the table and pulled out three gift-wrapped boxes. They were each a different colour—yellow, green, and blue—with a hand-written card on the top telling you who it was for. “Honey Lemon made us these; 'personally tailored!' she said. They were free, too!”

GoGo looked at her box uneasily as Fred handed it to her. Fred himself seemed virtually unfazed, tittering with excitement, his hands hovering on the top of his box and ready to tear it open. Wasabi just started looking for the edges and flaps on his.

“On the count of three, we all open our boxes, okay? One, two, three!”

Fred tore the wrapper on his to shreds. Wasabi carefully peeled off his, neatly folding it and laying it to the side as if he were going to reuse the paper. GoGo just tore a jagged strip off the top, enough for her to flip open the box.

Inside each was a cupcake, colourful, lovingly crafted, and unique from the other.

Fred hungrily dug into his. Wasabi pulled out one of his spare knives and started cutting it into neat sections. GoGo held hers up to the light and examined it more closely.

She had to admit, it was a very appetizing treat, from the purple frosting with the energetic swirls, the little yellow balls of candy sprinkled on, to the big pink gumdrop topper. She carefully took a bite out of her treat.

A short time later, she was wondering how it had disappeared so disappointingly fast. The treat left a delightful medley of sweetness and flavours on her tongue, a pleasant warmth in her stomach, and a strong, sudden desire for _more._

GoGo wiped her mouth, and licked the frosting off her fingers as she looked at her friends. Their cupcakes were gone, too.

Fred grinned at them in turn, crumbs and frosting all over his mouth. “So, any evil to report?”

“Nope. None at all.” Wasabi said.

“… There any more of these?” GoGo continued.

Fred tossed away an empty box to reveal several more unopened containers of goodies.

In hindsight, GoGo realized how obvious the trap was, and that they _really_ should have seen it coming.


	2. Chapter 2

“What to do, what to do, what to do…” Honey Lemon muttered as she glided from each end of her office, her tail swishing nervously behind her.

“Relax, Honey,” Hiro said as he lounged on a beanbag. “Panicking's not going to get you anywhere.”

“How can you even tell me to relax right now?!” Honey Lemon snapped at him. “We've got an angel and her two companions tied up in my backroom! I need plans, not reassurance!”

“Hiro is right, Honey.” Baymax said from his position in the corner, standing on his charging platform. “Maintaining this elevated emotional state will only cause you severe amounts of stress, and make you more prone to illogicality and mistakes which will very negatively effect this situation and possibly your physical well-being.”

“You know what you need?” Tadashi said as he stood up from the table near his brother. “A cup of tea. Here, I'll go make you one right now.” He walked over to the snack counter and started brewing.

Honey Lemon sighed. “Yeah, I guess I could. Hey, Tadashi, you wouldn't happen to have programmed Baymax with books along the lines of 'So You've Kidnapped An Angel, What Now?' would you?”

“Nope! But, I did program him with his own knowledge matrix about capturing and containing demons.”

Honey Lemon frowned. “You _what?”_

“Hey, when a demon shows up in your city, saying she means you no harm, and that she's going to open a bakery that threatens my aunt's, you take precautions.” Hiro said.

“Fair enough. Baymax, is there anything I can use?”

“Though there is no information specifically about angels, given your similarities in physiology— however few—it may still be adapted for our present situation.”

“Go for it.”

Baymax paused for a moment. “When keeping demons in captivity, it is important to provide a suitably prepared cage or cell, or use bindings that have been designed with their kind in mind. Though demons have numerous species with various traits that need to be considered, some general rules are: use blessed materials as much as possible; have counter-measures against magic or supernatural abilities; and use very, very strong, reinforced materials to keep them confined or limit their mobility.”

“What did you tie her up with, anyway?” Tadashi asked as he walked over and handed Honey Lemon a cup of steaming tea.

**BOOM!**

The whole office rocked from the impact. The tea cup fell and shattered on the floor. Moments later, a horrible ruckus erupted from the backroom: Prinnies screaming and panicking, containers and shelves getting wrecked and turned to splinters, and yet more explosions.

“Something that was not strong enough.” Hiro said as he rocketed off his seat.

The brothers rushed for a cabinet filled with snacks, pulled open a secret compartment, and took out their weapons. Hiro took aim at the door with his pistol, while Tadashi gripped his axe and slowly moved to the side of it.

Honey Lemon flew behind her desk. She had only thrown open the cabinet containing her bow and her specially tipped arrows when the door came flying off its hinges and straight at her.

Hiro peeled off a few pot shots before Wasabi dashed towards him and pressed an _extremely_ sharp blade to his neck. Tadashi roared and charged, before Fred roared louder and tackled him straight the ground, the monstrous aura above him wrenching Tadashi's axe from his hands with a claw.

Honey Lemon pulled the door off herself, just in time to watch GoGo vault her desk and press her up to the wall, the angel's glowing hand wrapping around her neck.

All throughout the ruckus, Baymax watched silently, too slow to help, unequipped for combat.

“Tell me what you were up to before I kill you.” GoGo growled, giving Honey's neck a painful squeeze.

Honey Lemon scrabbled for GoGo's hand. “S-shouldn't that be 'or I kill you'...?” She whimpered.

“ _No.”_

Honey gulped, the lump in her throat pressing uncomfortably against GoGo's palm. “I was running a bakery.”

“What else?”

“That's it!”

GoGo squeezed again. Honey Lemon started to choke, tears welling in her eyes.

“She's telling the truth!” Tadashi yelled as Fred sat on his back. Fred's monster aura held the rest of him down with its claws and feet.

Hiro glared at GoGo. It was hard to speak with Wasabi's sword pressed so close to his neck.

“Though her vital signs are concurrent with the stress induced by lying, I can assure you that Honey Lemon is speaking the truth.”

“Shut up.” GoGo didn't look away from Honey. “I'll be the judge of that.”

“Please…” Honey sniffed, tears streaming down her cheeks. “I just wanted to bake treats so people can enjoy them! Nothing more...”

GoGo stared into Honey's eyes, red and filled with tears. A tense few moments later, GoGo released her grip. The angel walked back around Honey's desk and took a seat on one of the chairs in front of it, never taking her eyes of the demon.

“Sit down, and explain everything to me, starting from the beginning.”

Honey nervously stepped forward to her chair, picked off door chunks from it, and sat down.

“Fred, Wasabi, let the humans go, but keep your eyes on them.”

Fred and Wasabi did as they were commanded, releasing their prisoners, and walked over to GoGo's side while never letting the Hamadas leave their sights. Hiro and Tadashi picked up their weapons and stood beside Honey Lemon.

Baymax waddled off his charging station to one side, the sound of his squeaky footsteps the only sound in the room.

With a look from GoGo, Honey Lemon began her story. “I guess you could say I was always a terrible demon from the very beginning, like an angel trapped in a demon's body.”

Fred chuckled. “Heh, kind of like a reverse version of GoGo! Everyone thought she was a demon trapped in an angel's body, because she had this problem with expressing her feelings non-violently.”

“Fred, shut up, and don't change the subject.”

“Okay.”

With another look from GoGo, Honey continued. “I failed pretty much every single class in Evil Academy, despite showing up to every single one of them. Not to mention everything I did never turned out the way my teachers wanted it to; a spell that's supposed to doom a man to a fiery, painful death ended up becoming a useful spell for keeping warm during winter time, for example.

“Once, they suspended every single person in school but me—staff included. I sat there in a classroom, alone, waiting for teachers that would never come, and got to thinking: 'I don't belong here,' I said to myself. 'I'll never be more than the worst student on record if I stay here.'

“So I ran away. The staff sent me a letter saying how proud they were that I did that. I burned it and used the ashes to make a spell to get out of there, literally elsewhere but another Netherworld.

“And so I ended up here. I was starving, I was lost, I was depressed. I needed money, so I did the one thing I can do right: bake. Obviously people were reluctant to buy from a demon—I got ran out of town seven times, until they bought my goods on the condition that I never try to sell here ever again.

Honey Lemon smiled. “They ended up chasing after me at the border and begging me to come back to make more. So I did, and set up shop, and the rest, as they say, is history.”

GoGo nodded. “And that's all you've been doing?”

“No evil plans?” Fred continued. “No gaining the trust of the people and then betraying them? No subtly lacing these goods with a slow acting poison that slowly builds up over a period of decades so you have an entire generation under your command?”

Honey wrinkled her nose in disgust. “What? No! I'd never do something like that! … Or be capable of doing it in the first place...”

“It's true. I think Honey's physically incapable of doing evil.” Hiro said.

“If anything, she'd be the one trying to stop it.” Tadashi continued.

“And yet you _still_ drugged us.” Wasabi said.

Honey Lemon frowned. “I'm sorry; I panicked, okay?! This bakery is all I have...”

GoGo nodded, and fell silent.

Fred and Wasabi stood by quietly.

Hiro and Tadashi fingered their weapons.

Honey bit her lip and sweated.

“I believe you.”

Honey Lemon blinked. “You do?”

GoGo nodded.

“Eee! Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

Honey Lemon rocketed out of her seat and flew right into GoGo, knocking her into the floor as she wrapped her arms around her. The demons wings flapped like crazy, her tail curled up in the shape of a heart.

GoGo blushed, spluttered, and flailed about helplessly. Hiro pulled Honey Lemon off while Tadashi helped GoGo back up.

“So… what's going to happen now?” Fred asked. “I mean, dramatic twists and peaceful resolutions are cool and all, but they kind of throw our whole 'Exterminate the demonic presence here' mission for a loop.”

“Well, I'd at least like _something_ done about the whole 'drugging and kidnapping us' thing, but that's just me.” Wasabi said.

Honey Lemon smiled sheepishly. “Oh, right… sorry again! How about I treat you guys to dinner at my place? I'm an amazing cook, too.”

GoGo looked at the others in turn. Wasabi looked reluctant. Fred smiled and gave her a thumbs up. Hiro and Tadashi were excitedly, silently begging her to say yes.

“I'll even throw in an extra special dessert at the end~!” Honey Lemon sang. “Not drugged this time, obviously.”

GoGo shrugged. “Sure. We'll take it.”


	3. Chapter 3

“ _Have you exorcised the demonic presence yet, Ethel?”_

GoGo shook her head. “No, ma'am. We've, uh, hit a snag.”

“ _Explain.”_

GoGo looked down and sucked in a breath. “The demonic presence does not appear to be malevolent.”

“… _What?”_

“Ma'am, all the evidence we've gathered leads to the conclusion that the demonic presence is not attempting to harm the mortal population of this realm in any way, shape, or form, and that they are actually beneficial to them.”

“ _And what sources do you have for this evidence?”_

“Our own investigations into the citizens, the location, the cursed area, the demon themselves; the testimonials of said citizens; and, uh...” GoGo paused. “The testimonial of the demon themselves.”

A long, awkward silence fell.

“ _You do realize that demons will always lie, unless the truth benefits them more, yes?”_

“I know that, ma'am, but this demon… she's not hurting anyone. She doesn't _want_ to hurt anyone. She's--”

 **“Demons are not innocent.** _If they were, they would not be demons.”_

GoGo scowled. “This one—I believe she's the exception to the rule, ma'am.”

“ _Ethel, I realize that one might come to this conclusion given your own history of, ah, 'marching to the beat of your own drummer,' as mortals might say, but there is no demonic presence in any mortal realm that has not been malevolent.”_

“Ma'am, I'm telling you--”

“ _You will have until sunset the next day to accomplish your mission. Or we will be sending another team to finish the job—and take care of any 'complications' that might have arisen from your failure. Are we clear?”_

GoGo looked down.

“ _Answer the question, Ethel.”_

“Yes, ma'am. Crystal.”

“ _Good.”_

The image of GoGo's superior on the mirror shimmered and faded until she was looking at her own reflection again. She saw herself frowning, a tired look in her eyes. She looked up and found Honey Lemon standing a few feet away, a hopeful smile on her face.

“Sooo, how'd it go?”

GoGo shook her head. “Not good. They still want me to kill you. Or at the very least, drive you out of this realm and back to a Netherworld.”

Honey Lemon started shaking.

“I won't. I promise.”

Honey Lemon stopped quivering, and smiled. “Well, good luck with that, then. Dinner's almost ready, by the way! The others are already at the table, want to join them?”

GoGo craned her neck to the side and peered into Honey's dining room. The others were assembled around her table, talking and messing around like old friends. Once they'd been deprived of a reason to want to hate or kill the other, they'd gotten along astoundingly well.

“Nah. I'll just stay here and think of what I'm going to do now.”

“Okay. I'll call you when it's ready, then. Oh, and GoGo?” Honey Lemon smiled. “Thanks for doing this for me.”

GoGo blushed. “Right.”

Honey Lemon glided away, back into the kitchen. GoGo looked down at her magic mirror, sighed, put it away, and started thinking.

* * *

The best dinner GoGo'd ever had in a long, _long_ time was devoured, the table was cleared, the dishes were washed and put away, and everyone but her turned in for the night. Instead, she found a window looking out to the streets, sat on the sill, and resumed thinking about how she was going to complete her mission.

Hours later, she was no closer to a solution now as she was then. The only thing she was sure of was that she wasn't going to kill Honey, or drive her back to a Netherworld—or let anyone else do it, for that matter.

“Coffee?”

GoGo snapped out of her thoughts. She turned to Honey Lemon, and immediately felt her mouth turn dry.

The demon held two steaming mugs, and wore a pink nightgown, soft, silky, and far from scandalous—if a simple lack of sleeves and a skirt that ended just above her knees could even qualify. With the soft glow of the moonlight, and her hair free to fall over her face in little stray strands, however, she was positively breathtaking.

“I don't know how you take it, so I just made it black.” Honey Lemon smiled as she handed a yellow mug over.

“Thanks.” GoGo took it and sipped it. Soon as it hit her tongue, the coffee punched her like a Wood Golem and had the angel reeling.

Honey frowned. “Too strong…?”

GoGo shook the off the hit and smiled at her. “Just right.”

Honey Lemon smiled back and sat next to her on the opposite end of the sill. “Can I ask how the thinking's going?”

GoGo frowned. “Not good. Still nothing.”

“Want some advice?”

“Hit me.”

“Well, when I'm stumped, I always think back to my past, and how I've solved other problems, see if I can get inspiration from there.”

“I've solved all my problems in one of three ways: hurting them, killing them, or running them out of a realm. If it didn't involve those, I left it to Fred or Wasabi.”

Honey nodded. “You asked them for help yet?”

GoGo frowned and shook her head. “It's just… after we left the bakery, there really wasn't anything left for them to _do,_ so I just let them go enjoy themselves. We don't really get much downtime between missions.”

Honey smiled. “Aww, how sweet of you!”

GoGo blushed and looked away. “Hiro and Tadashi were itching to cart them off to whatever, anyway.” She mumbled.

Honey Lemon nodded. “How'd you end up with those two, anyway?”

“I met them during other missions. They helped me complete them, then they tagged along afterward.”

“Mind telling me how, exactly? It could help with your problem. Besides, they sound like they make pretty interesting stories, and I want to hear them!”

GoGo shrugged. “I met Fred while I was trying to out a group of demons that had rooted themselves into a human realm. They were incredibly subtle and great at not leaving tracks. They were also douchesnozzles and loved leading me on wild goose chases just to piss me off.”

Honey Lemon sniggered. “Douchesnozzles?”

GoGo nodded, a completely serious expression on her face. “Some of the very worst. I was pretty much on the verge of giving up until Fred caught wind of me and offered to help. Apparently I wasn't the only one investigating them, and Fred had the advantage of taking notes. Lots of notes.

“He also made theories, pieced together a lot of things I hadn't even noticed or didn't know about in the first place. Newspapers and official chroniclers aren't paid to keep tabs on every little thing that happens in a realm.

“I was desperate. So I decided to investigate those theories—him tagging along to see if he was right, and make new observations, of course. It got old fast, though; there were a _lot_ of theories.”

“Like what?”

GoGo sucked in a huge breath, and sighed. “Well, there was the one about poisoning the local water supply, which led to me literally going up a creek without a canoe, or a way to find out where all the sinkholes were, or protection against the one _extremely_ angry badger.”

Honey Lemon smiled.

“There was the one about cultivating a massive mind-control spore producing plant underneath the city, which led to me traversing the entire length of the sewer systems, then explaining to the police what I was doing down there while dressed like an acolyte for the Holy Order of the Gardenars.”

Honey Lemon sniggered.

“Then there was the one about using the local population of geriatrics to knit cursed wool sweaters and use human's sympathy for them to spread their evil influence, which led to me interrogating two dozen old ladies, and then finding out the _hard_ way how much good Golden Years League did for their batting arms.”

Honey Lemon laughed, and stopped abruptly. “I'm sorry.”

GoGo blushed and smiled at her. “It's cool. It's nice. Your laugh, I mean. It's, you know… cute.” She quickly stared into her mug of coffee and sent a large gulp of scorching hot caffeine down her throat.

Honey Lemon beamed. “Thanks. So, what about the rest of those theories?”

GoGo groaned. “It's probably gonna take me all night to count them all.”

Honey Lemon gestured out the window. “Well, we've got time.”

The moon was high up in the night sky, still plenty of time till daybreak.

GoGo shook her head. “No, they only get much dumber from here, trust me.”

Honey Lemon chuckled. “I won't mind. I like listening to you talk. It's nice.”

GoGo blushed again. “… Well, after the incident at the old folks' home, Fred decided it was time to get serious...”

* * *

“… so after I beat the crap out of a beloved children's mascot in front of a live studio audience, you'd think the whole realm would have formed a mob and lynched me right there and then. But as it turns out, Woodie the Wood Sprite was actually Woodworm the Wood Golem.”

Honey Lemon wiped the tears from her eyes. She took a moment to catch her breath, and said, “Wait, what? Fred was right?!”

“Yes. I'll spare you all the nitty-gritty about how they kept the mortals in the dark, but once their cover was blown, Bubble Beryl, Neko-Neko-chan, Mr. Moogly Googly, and their buddies were suddenly a _lot_ less friendly and fun.”

Honey Lemon nodded. “So this is the part where they revealed their true forms?”

GoGo shook her head. “Nope. Their costumes were actually cursed suits of armour.”

Honey Lemon blinked. “Seriously?”

“Yes.”

Honey Lemon looked down. “I'm sorry,” she said in between high pitched, clipped squeals of laughter, “I just… it just...”

GoGo nodded. “Yeah, the audience thought it was a hoot, too. It wasn't so funny after Mrs. Mousey beaned me in the head with the Friendship Stick. There I was, decked out on the Kumbaya Rug, staring up at those giant eyes and constantly grinning faces surrounding me, getting closer and closer...”

Honey Lemon bit her lip and leaned in, silently begging GoGo to continue.

“… When in comes Fred, dressed up in one of the spare costumes. 'Hey, kids, Fredzilla's here to save the day!' he said before he charged right into those freaks and bowled them all over. Once they lost their edge, they all went Beddy-Bye Time faster than you could sing the See You When The Sun Comes Up song.

Honey Lemon cheered and laughed. “I bet the audience loved it, huh?”

GoGo grinned. “They all agreed it was the best episode yet, and a great way to end the series. Plus, after we figured out their MO, it was easy to root out the rest of their corruption and exorcise it. Only trouble was, Fred could get _in_ the suit, but he couldn't get _out_ of it.”

“Oh dear...”

“Luckily, since he was integral to rooting out the demons and the actual exterminating, the Big Guys Upstairs exorcised him and he was back to normal. By that point the suit was basically a part of him, though; we turned it into the monster aura he fights with.”

Honey Lemon grinned. “Man, that is one hell of a way to pull of a happy ending.”

“Mhmm.” GoGo said, before she took another drink of her coffee, and realized it was empty.

So was Honey's tea. “Oh, wow, where did the time go? I'll go make us some more and get us some snacks, too; you get ready to tell me Wasabi's story next, okay?” She smiled as she held her hand out for GoGo's mug.

GoGo handed it over and smiled back. “Okay.”

Honey Lemon glided off to the kitchen, GoGo started thinking back to when she met Wasabi.


	4. Chapter 4

“Day would turn into night would turn into afternoon; rivers started flowing upstream if they weren't just going vertical into the air already; apples looked like oranges once you cut them open, oranges like bananas.

“And the worst part was, no one could explain it.

“Me and Fred tried our best to get a handle on the situation. But whatever was causing it was starting to affect the mortals and their memories, too. About the only people who had their heads on straight—figuratively or literally—were the students at a local occultism academy; the school grounds were already protected against supernatural tampering of any sort.

“Some of the students and staff were studying the phenomenon and making theories about how to solve it. Unfortunately, most of their attempts just devolved into pissing matches about who had the best theory and the most accurate research. We tried to coordinate with them but it always just ended in someone coming up to us with a new lead or development that we couldn't share with the group we were already working with at the moment, they were going to steal it, sabotage it, ask for co-authorship, etc.

“Eventually, I got _really_ pissed off and was about to flip off all of those douchesnozzles and leave--”

Honey Lemon choked on her biscuit. GoGo hurriedly patted on her on the back until the offending snack went down the right pipe. “Thanks.” The demon took a sip of her tea. “Sorry about that, continue.”

GoGo leaned back and did. “So yeah, about to leave the 'academics' to their 'research' when we see a guy just outside of the school limits studying the way a tree changed leaves every minute or so, like going from autumn orange to cotton candy. I just thought he was another one of the lackeys out doing field research for their professor, but Fred had a feeling about him, so off we went and bothered him.

“That was when we met Wasabi.”

“Is Wasabi really his name?”

“Nope. No one knows what it really is, though; turns out he spilled wasabi on himself in the cafeteria and his freakout was so bad no one could ever, _ever_ let him live it down. Wasabi himself never bothered to correct anyone since he figured it was a waste of time.”

“Must have been a really nice shirt.”

“It could have been any shirt, but I'll get to that later.

“Wasabi was trying to figure out why the realm was going haywire, too, but unlike everybody else, he was keeping his findings to himself, and was spending more time actually observing the changes and the wrong things, than staying back in his cozy dorm room formulating a theory to blow the others out of the water.

“That, or spying on them, stealing their theories, then thinking up of their counterarguments once they were brought to the plagiarism court.”

Honey Lemon chuckled and shook her head.

“It wasn't hard to figure out why he was so driven—guy was a total neat-freak, had to have everything in order, spotless, and the very best it could be, nothing less. Working with him was a pain in the beginning, especially with Fred around; it was the start of a lot of arguments, such as the never ending Underwear Debate.”

“Underwear Debate?”

GoGo winced. “… It's not important. Wasabi would freak out if anything in his 'system' was slightly off, which made the Disharmony Plague—as he called it—worse for him. He'd spend five minutes turning all of the bottles on his spice rack label out, turn around, and come back to see it was now all of his shampoos, soaps, moisturizers, and exfoliates. None of them in the proper rows, too.

“For all of his uptight-ness, though, the guy got results: with help from Fred's notes about all the theories and research back at the academy, plus Wasabi's own work, we managed to piece together something very, very important about the Plague:”

Honey Lemon put her tea down and leaned in.

“Trying to understand it was useless.”

Honey Lemon blinked, and wordlessly urged GoGo to explain.

“Every single test he did came back inconclusive. If there was anything that was starting to show a pattern, actually lead somewhere we could back up with hard evidence, suddenly everything would take a trip out of left field and we'd be back to square one. It was infuriating. Wasabi never threw in the towel, though; he used every single occultist test to try and measure it, and even tried to invent a new one. It failed, by the way; we never could decide what an itchy foot on Fred meant, or what caused it.

“Every other test failed, too. Nothing worked; everything always came out wrong. There was always a pattern of consistency before everything would go downhill. Out of all this, however, came the solution, courtesy of Fred.

“'Why try to make sense of nonsense?' he said. 'We should be working _with_ the crazy.'”

“We had absolutely no idea what he meant by that so we just did as he asked us to. That turned out to be making a portal. When asked for the coordinates, Fred just told Wasabi to close his eyes and start punching in random numbers. He did.

“We stepped in, and found ourselves in Wasabi's worst nightmare.

“Turns out an Overlord was harnessing the power of chaos, to turn the balance of the realm topsy-turvy, until it all became a chaotic, uncontrollable Netherworld for them to rule. Even their lair looked like an earthquake had happened, a fire blazed through it, then a tornado passed by, and after all that someone decided to open half-finished portals into every other Netherworld just for kicks.

“Wasabi was horrified. He had absolutely no idea what to do. So he did the only thing he _could_ do: clean and organize. You should have seen him in that Overlord's lair, he was a blur. We could hardly keep up with him, fending demons off his back or no.

“Ritual circles were closed, their lines completed, and the last symbols drawn in; wailing half-formed demons and abominations were summoned completely into the realm or sent back to their home dimension where they wouldn't be stuck in existence limbo; caps were put back on bottles and their labels turned to face outwards, away from the back of the shelves.

“Crazy as it sounds, it worked. But then again, the Overlord _was_ harnessing their power from the sheer potential of randomness. Eventually we managed to weaken them enough that we could jump them and start beating the ever loving crap out of them till they cried uncle.”

Honey Lemon sniggered. “What, no formations, no plan of attack?”

“Nope, no time. Fred called it 'poetic;' I called it 'what we had to do.'

“Anyway, with the Overlord gone, the whole realm steadily returned to normal. The damage was reversed, precautions were made to keep it from happening ever again, and Wasabi was free to come back to the academy.

“He didn't want to, though. As with anything, personal experience is the best way to learn, so with the school and the Big Guys Upstairs' blessing, he tagged along with us from then on. The fat lot of good his classmates and professors did to actually solve the Disharmony Plague had no bearing on his decision whatsoever.”

Honey Lemon laughed. “Of course it didn't. So, what, you three have just been going from realm to realm fighting demons and solving problems at the behest of your superiors?”

“Yep.”

“You guys have a team name? Because this sounds like something straight out of one of those comic book serials the kids love so much.”

GoGo cringed. “We don't. Fred keeps trying, we keep saying no.”

“That bad?”

GoGo shot Honey a look.

Honey Lemon chuckled. “Okay, okay, I won't press the issue… by the way, any 'Eureka!'s from our little chat yet? You solved a lot of problems in some very different ways in all those stories.”

GoGo frowned. “… No, nothing.”

Honey Lemon sipped her almost-empty mug of tea. “Hmm… hey, want to hear about how I solved _my_ problems, instead?”

GoGo nodded. “Worth a shot.”

Honey Lemon smiled. “Okay, okay, this story is about one of my failed experiments in the kitchen, one of the worst ones yet.

“I wanted to make a batch of singing, talking rolls; you know, a treat that would literally serenade you with a siren song and put on a show while you ate it. For the most part, it worked out perfectly! The rolls had an even bigger voice range than I'd ever imagined, they learned quickly, and even started making their own songs.

“It, uh, all went downhill when I tried to taste them, and had to explain that they were made to be eaten.

“They screamed. Holy _crap,_ they screamed. It got so bad the neighbours called the police on me; having to explain to them why there was horrible, frantic screaming in my kitchen—one that sounded suspiciously like about a dozen folk begging to be rescued from 'the crazy demon' that was going to eat them—was, uh... interesting.”

GoGo sniggered.

Honey Lemon sheepishly looked away and blushed. “… It didn't really help that I had the bright idea of trying the raspberry jelly one first, and forget to wipe the jam off my mouth.”

GoGo closed her eyes and silently bent over while clutching her stomach.

“You can laugh, it's fine.”

GoGo did.

“Woah, what's so funny it's got _GoGo_ laughing?”

GoGo blinked the tears out of her eyes and looked up at Fred, grinning and beaming, still dressed in the shirt and pants he'd gone to sleep in. (And wore for all of yesterday.)

“Fred? What are you doing up?” Honey Lemon asked.

Fred pointed out the window. Angel and demon looked, to see the twilight sky slowly turning to dawn.

“Oh wow, is it morning already?” Honey Lemon said as she pushed herself off the sill. “Crap, I'm gonna be late for work; sorry, guys, I gotta go to the bakery, get things ready for opening. There's leftovers and lot of ready-to-eat breakfast foods in the kitchens, help yourselves!”

She started to glide off to her bedroom before stopping and turning around. “Oh, and GoGo? We should really do this again some time. I loved just sitting around and talking with you.” She smiled.

GoGo blushed and smiled back. “Yeah, me too.”

Honey Lemon left, and Fred sauntered up to GoGo's side, still grinning. “So, I see you two are getting along really well!”

GoGo scowled at him.

“How goes the thinking of what we're going to do about her, anyway?”

GoGo frowned. “Still nothing. All I know is that we are _not_ harming Honey or driving her out.”

Fred nodded. “What I figured, too. Shall we discuss it over breakfast?”

GoGo nodded. “Sure.”


	5. Chapter 5

The discussions started at Honey's breakfast table, continued onto the streets, and ended up in one of the corner tables at the 'Bakery of Doom!'.

GoGo, Wasabi, and Fred were still talking about what to do when the new team of three angels strode into the shop without greeting or pause. Two of them fanned out to cover the sides and the entrance; their leader stepped right up to the counter.

The new angel said some cocky one-liner and thrust their spear at Honey Lemon, the point dangerously close to her head.

They never saw GoGo's fist coming for the back of their own head, nor the lackeys Wasabi and Fred as they charged into them. Hiro and Tadashi rushed some time after the ruckus started, Baymax on their tail. They all made a distraction so Honey could retrieve her bow and arrows from her office and fight alongside them.

The battle was short, but chaotic and brutal, most of the store getting completely wrecked in the carnage, along with a good number of Prinny casualties. Angels did not go down without a fight.

The leader's lifeless body hit the floor, and GoGo felt her halo dim and disappear. The feathers on her wings started shedding like crazy, gradually losing their white luster and their size, until they were dirty white and so small they were practically decorative.

Honey Lemon was okay—bruised and beaten, but alive—and so were the others, so GoGo didn't really care. (She never really used them, anyway.)

The bakery was closed for the rest of the day to make way for repairs. They retreated back to Honey Lemon's house to patch up their wounds.

“I'm assuming that's not going to be the last team to try to kill us?” Honey Lemon asked as she bandaged the numerous bloody, ugly gashes and holes on GoGo's body.

GoGo barely winced. “Nope.”

Honey Lemon sighed. “What am I going to do now...?”

“Hire security. Me, Fred, and Wasabi are actually looking for jobs right now; our old one kind of let us go just like that, no benefits or prior notice.”

Honey smiled, then frowned. “I can't offer much in the way of cash. I _can_ guarantee free lodgings and three square meals a day, though.”

GoGo nodded. “Sounds good. We'll take it.”

“Shouldn't you be asking Fred and Wasabi what they think first?”

GoGo smirked. “I don't think they'll refuse. When can we start?”

Honey fixed the last bit of bandages on GoGo's chest. “As soon as you're in condition to fight again.” She leaned over and kissed the angel on her unbruised cheek. “Your sign up bonus.”

GoGo blushed. “Any more of those, or was this a one-time thing?”

Honey Lemon chuckled as she readied another roll of of bandages. “Work hard, and we'll see.”

“Roger that, boss.”

“Please! Call me mistress.”

GoGo blushed; her tiny wings flapped about and kicked up a little gust. “… Uh, as you wish… mistress.”

“Oooh, I can tell we're going this is going to be one _hell_ of a partnership already...” Honey Lemon purred, her tail swishing behind her just a little bit faster.


End file.
